“I’m With Busey” [* * *]

Tomorrow night at 10 on Comedy central

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I have no idea, which is more bizarre: the fact that the man I love loves all Gary Busey movies or the fact that Gary Busey himself is now a reality show.

Or should I call it a reality-check show since, after watching two episodes. all I know for sure is that I have no idea what the hell I just watched.

And I think I like it, but if I really do like it, then for sure I need a reality check of my own.

Are you still with me, or have you turned the page in an attempt at self-preservation?

If, in the off chance that you are still with me, I am here to report that after watching this new show, “I’m With Busey,” I can only conclude that it is even more bizarre than the fact that I love someone who loves Gary Busey movies.

As arbiter of taste and television, I can only say that, in my professional opinion. “I’m With Busey,” which premiers tomorrow night on Comedy Central, is, well, nuts. And so, it seems, is Busey.

Adam de la Pena, a comedy writer who coincidentally is also obsessed with Gary Busey is the, er, host (or whatever the hell you call someone who goes around with Gary Busey on camera) and the two develop a kind of relationship – emphasis on “kind of.”

In episode one, Busey who has fallen on his head one too many times, tells de la Pena that he needs to discover the essence of women which he (Busey) does by dressing in drag and going to a disco. Not since Dennis Rodman wore a wedding gown has there been an uglier woman.

Busey, whose mouth looks like it’s full of glowing giant Chicklets, philosophizes (I think!) constantly – whether it’s while dancing in drag, chewing and spewing food, sleeping in the desert, searching for the Magic Indian (don’t ask) or believing he’s in real combat while paint balling.

Some of the words of wisdom Busey hurls at de la Pena include:

“Men are failed women.” Oh.

“Enemies are friends in reverse.” Huh?

“Have you ever seen a farm birth? That’s the beginning of life, and the celebration of pain.” Right.

“Have you ever roasted donuts?” No.

“When the silence is deafening, you are in the center of your own universe.” Exactly.

Then there are his wilderness survival tips such as how to dry roadkill cat and turn it into potato chip-like snacks. Why there would be roadkill in the wilderness I don’t know.

While Busey is a very abusive personality, the show – unlike the “Anna Nicole Show” -is not painful, because he’s only being crazy and abusive to de la Pena who in turn is abusing Busey by filming him at his worst (which seems to be all the time).

Anna Nicole abuses the real people in her life and constantly humiliates her poor son. Now that’s painful.

Did I get real laughs out of “I’m With Busey?” Yes, but God help me, I haven’t any idea why.