IF you happen to know Jessie Armstead, you just might want to invite the Giants linebacker to dinner at Ruby Foo’s Dim Sum & Sushi Palace. He’d make the perfect companion for blocking the huddled masses around the hostess’ station. “I’ve been shoved three times already,” moaned the woman pasted to my left side. The couple on my right, meanwhile, should’ve been penalized for unnecessary roughness.
A referee is possibly the only missing ingredient in restaurateur Stephen Hanson’s packed Asian-food arena. The place is a David Rockwell-ian eyeful. The interior designer’s vision centers on a black staircase sweeping along a towering red-lacquered wall of cubbies filled with Buddhas, a gong and fur-trimmed brocade Mongolian hats. It’s the kind of grand stairway that could inspire a Norma Desmondish “I’m ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille.”
If only you could get there. Getting past the headset-wearing hostesses, who seem channeled to a distant master, is no small feat. Even with a reservation, reconfirmed that day, the wait to be seated Sunday was over half an hour. The lovely back-lit mah-jongg tiles in the bar area have limited appeal when you’re getting jostled in a holding pen.
Things were different Friday. Hanson himself – who also owns Park Avalon, Ocean Grill and others – quickly ushered us to an upper-level perch with an eagle’s view of the action. Downstairs the sushi chefs rolled away. Amid the lively diners sat an older couple in black tie and, at another table, a sleeping baby.
Ruby’s fantasy setting wakes up your inner kid, as does its menu. A delightful libation called a ginger martini is a ringer for Vernor’s Ginger Ale, a mellow spiced soda popular in points west of the city. The Chocolate banana tart is gleefully reminiscent of a Sara Lee pie.
Of the dim sum, Thai calamari has substantial crunch and a spicy sting. Maki rolls of spicy tuna are fresh and flavorful.
But five-spice salmon with moo shu pancakes is a disappointment all around; the crust has a musty tinge and the vegetables are watery and lifeless. Sesame tuna is a better choice, meaty rare fish and delicate tempura vegetables making a nice textural contrast.
One night the waiter asked “How is everything?” all too often; the next time service was clueless. Question: “Which of the noodle dishes is best?” Answer: “The pad Thai, because it’s a special and we don’t have it all the time.” By the way, at $15.95, this must be the most pricey pad Thai in town.
On the other hand, chai latte, the creamy, hot spiced tea, is a luscious bargain, so dreamy one at our table pronounces it her “new favorite thing.”
By now it’s 11:30 p.m. How did three-plus hours just fly by? As we leave we pass a steady stream of eager diners still piling in. You’ve got to hand it to Hanson. His place really is livening up the Upper West Side. In fact, maybe we should rename it Ruby Foo’s Funhouse and Convention Center.
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RUBY FOO’S DIM SUM & SUSHI PALACE 2182 BROADWAY, AT 77TH STREET (212) 724-6700
