“Open the door wearing nothing but a trench coat . . . and a rash.” Jennifer

“Make a huge sign welcoming them home, but spell their name wrong.” Margaret

“Tell her, ‘In honor of your return, I redecorated our apartment in a ‘Star Trek’ motif.’ ” Aaron

“Say, ‘I was so lonely while you were gone that I had to Sharpie your face on a pillow.’ ” Caitlin

“Hand them all the parking tickets they got while they were gone.” Dean