THE ads said it sucked, the critics agreed – and the box office quickly bled dry.

So it comes as little surprise that Broadway’s “Dance of the Vampires” will close Jan. 25, after 61 previews, 56 performances and lots of scathing reviews.

“Oh Buffy, you Vampire Slayer – where were you when we needed you?” wrote Post theater critic Clive Barnes, while The Times’ Ben Brantley, noting star Michael Crawford’s time in Las Vegas, described his blood-sucking aristocrat as looking like “a Goth version of Siegfried, Roy and Wayne Newton combined.

“Now that,” he added, “is pretty scary.”