Today the US celebrates the Supreme Court’s historic ruling on marriage equality, the result of decades of tireless work on the part of gay-rights advocates . . . and some of the biggest names in comedy, who’ve been hilariously mocking homophobic opponents for years now. In the process, they’ve helped nudge the public toward the realization that everyone should be allowed to get married, via cutting commentary (see Aziz Ansari’s takedown of an anti-gay senator’s reasoning) and good old-fashioned “well, duh” logic (thanks, David Cross). Below, 21 of our favorites.

“These ballot initiatives against same-sex marriage remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want, so long as that dream doesn’t make Midwesterners feel icky.”

“That argument with the soccer moms — ‘How am I gonna explain that to my kid? I don’t like explaining things to my kid. I don’t like talking to him. You should stop your whole lifestyle, so that I don’t have to talk to my kid. You should stop being in love with each other, because . . . ew.’ F - - k you, stop it. I never understood anger toward gay people because it’s the one thing that people can do, sex, that doesn’t affect you at all. Nobody’s being gay at you.”

“I’m not making this up — he goes, ‘Now if your neighbor marries a box turtle, that doesn’t affect your everyday life. But that doesn’t mean it’s right.’ I think it’s pretty safe to assume that, at one point or another, Senator John Cornyn has thought about making love to a box turtle. I’m sorry, but that’s not the first animal you jump to when you’re writing that analogy.”

“There’s one really frightening thing for people like the Ayatollah Khomeini or Jerry Falwell or Fred Phelps: They want everyone wired to their sad little frequency. I think that’s why people like them are so violently against gay marriage. It’s not that they care about gays getting married. They’re afraid of the public saying, ‘Do whatever you want.’

“I don’t even think that people are pro-gay. I think people just don’t give a s - - t. It’s almost at the point where some gay people get upset that they’re not getting more support — actually, indifference means progress. Go get married. I’m not going to give you a parade. Do whatever you want. Victory is indifference. In Portugal, this crazy Catholic country made gay marriage legal and then two weeks later, no one talked about it anymore. It was a huge uproar. It passed.”

“President Obama came out with approval of same-sex marriage. He said that, over the years, he has been going through an evolution on the issue. That makes opponents on the far right doubly angry. They don’t believe in gay marriage OR evolution.”

“Maybe [opponents] just hear the word ‘sex’ and they’re like, ‘Look at those same-sex people, all they’re doing is just having sex all the time, that’s all they’re doing. I bet their lives are 90 percent sex and 10 percent parades. That’s it. Sex and floats.’ ”

“Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.”

“What a f - - king embarrassing clown of a person you’d have to be to oppose gay marriage.”

“If you’re against same-sex marriage but you laugh your ass off to ‘Will & Grace,’ F - - K YOU [holds up middle finger]. You are a hypocrite, and you’re not allowed to pick and choose what you like from our culture, and leave behind the burden of inequality.”

“I am so against it, because all my gay friends are out. And if they get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.”

“I’ve got a question for those who supported Proposition 8. My question is a very profound one: What the f - - k is it to you? Why does anyone even care if gay people get married? . . . You would never in a million years go up to a person of color and say ‘Well, you know I hear that black people want to get married now. I mean, it’s fine if they live together.’ You would cringe, would you not?”

“Why should gay people have to account for anyone who’s ever going to want to get married after they get the right to marry? When women fought for suffrage, no one was like, ‘Well, what if one day a dog wants to vote, how about that, ladies?’ ”

“Same-sex marriage isn’t gay privilege, it’s equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying taxes. Like churches don’t.”

“The entire future of marriage rests with Justice Anthony Kennedy, the man who declared in Citizens United that corporations are people with constitutional rights. I just hope he doesn’t do anything rash, like declare that homosexuals are people with constitutional rights.”

“You know what I would do if I were president, Mr. President, I would make same-sex divorce illegal. Then see how bad they want it.”

“New rule: Gay marriage won’t lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn’t lead to hamsters voting. No court has extended the equal protection clause to salmon. And for the record, all marriages are ‘same-sex’ marriages. You get married, and every night, it’s the same sex.”

“Why is it that Johnny Spaghetti Stain in f - - king Georgia can knock a woman up, legally be married to her, and then beat the s - - t out of her, but these two intelligent, sophisticated writers who have been together for 20 years can’t get married? It’s infuriating and idiotic. I’m incredibly passionate about my support for the gay community and what they’re dealing with at this current point in time. I have arguments with people where I get red in the face, screaming at the top of my lungs.”

“I really don’t have a problem with gay marriage . . . because I’m tolerant and rational.”