Mercury retrograde hath arrived, pulling no punches and throwing all manner of wrenches.

Because Mercury governs communication and commerce, its retrograde cycle has a direct bearing on both our personal and professional lives.

Contrary to the nomenclature, Mercury and other planets do not ever move backward in space; they merely slow down, a deceleration that looks like a reversal from our vantage on Earth.

Kicking off its slowdown, Mercury our planet of the mind and the mouth, information and slander, connection and communion, stations retrograde on March 15th, 2025, at 2:46 am EDT at 9°35 Aries.

Mercury will remain retrograde until April 7th, 2025, at 7:07 am EDT when it stations direct at 26°49 Pisces.

When a planet is in retrograde, its energy works in the opposite direction, not necessarily against us but certainly not as a trusted sidekick.

As Mercury governs the mind, its retrograde signifies a period of challenge in organizing, expressing, and creating order in our lives.

How this oppositional energy manifests in the workplace: sexts accidentally sent to the company Slack channel, well-meaning jokes will be reported to HR, and constructive criticism will be interpreted as personal attacks.

According to a recent Promova survey, 64% of people feel that Mercury retrograde negatively affects their work communication, and 65% specifically notice more miscommunication occurring at their workplace during that period.

But take heart, my babies — it need not be doom at the office and despair in the cubicle.

Kate Protsenko, the Head of Business Operations at Promova and an international Cambridge CELTA/DELTA trainer, is on hand to help us manage communication and emerge from this Mercury retrograde cycle employed and unscathed.

Mercury rules both the mind and the mouth — brain fog, forgetfulness, word vomit and cerebral constipation are common symptoms of this retrograde.

This haze/malaise can make simple tasks and basic communication feel Sisyphean. Yet, as Protsenko told The Post, when Mercury slows its roll, we are advised to follow suit.

“To avoid accidentally attaching a nude instead of that file you need to share to a work email, you should definitely give yourself some more time to process and proofread. Slowing down the most minor things, like composing emails or writing messages, can feel excruciating, but in the end, you’ll be grateful for taking your time and delivering your messages loud and clear, with no misunderstandings (or scandals).”

Unless you’re a poet, there’s no place for abstract sentences and mystifying metaphors during Mercury Retrograde. Everyone with two feet and a beating heart is feeling the effects of this transit, so say it straight and keep it basic, folks.

Protsenko advised: “Try to empathize with the people who will read your emails and messages or listen to you at meetings. Make sure the sentences you use are short and simple. When you pile up several thoughts or add details through asides and parentheticals, you’re very likely to lose your audience. Breaking down your text or speech into simple sentences will make communicating that much easier, so you can be sure you’ve delivered all your points clearly.” 

Mercury is also the domain of technology — when the trickster planet slows down, machines and tech notoriously act up.

Protsenko recommends we all take preventive measures to double down on triple-checking during this transit.

“Don’t be ashamed to use AI or grammar checkers to make sure your text is squared away. But remember that those are considered technology as well, so you might want to double-check everything yourself one last time. Just to be sure.”

Show me someone with a boner for business jargon, and I’ll show you a facilitator of all that is unholy. Intended to lend a sense of belonging to the cold, cruel corporate world, this language is banal at best and baffling at worst.

Protsenko imparts, “You might want to hold off on lingo like “ducks in a row,” “bandwidth,” “deliverable,” or “synergy” in your work communication during Mercury retrograde. Those terms aren’t the most straightforward, so you don’t want to cause more confusion by using them when the powerful planet is creating communication breakdowns.”

She maintains that laying off this language during Mercury retrograde is particularly important if you work with or for an international company where English is not the native tongue.

If you’re an obstinate p–ck, Protsenko stresses the importance of a corporate translation sheet.

“If you can’t, don’t want to, or won’t give up on corporate language during Mercury retrograde, create a corporate lingo vocabulary sheet and share it with your team, especially if you’re working with people who are just starting in the corporate world.” 

Better yet, use this retrograde cycle to banish corporate jargon for good. After all, research shows that eliminating jargon helps avoid misunderstandings while supporting effective, efficient communication.

On that note, let’s circle back…NEVER.

Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars

Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture, and personal experience. To book a reading, visit her website.