Valentine’s Day comes with unwelcome expectations: cheap chocolate, overpriced prix-fixe menus, ugly stuffed animals, and saccharine sentiments.

Despite it all, I am in full support of any and all observations and expressions of love.

Yes, the holiday is rife with cliches. Still, it presents an opportunity to create something memorable for the people who matter, be it a partner, BFF, dog, bartender, gimp, or curious stranger.

Interestingly and apropos, Valentine’s Day falls during Aquarius season. As the sign of the lone wolf and the keen observer, Aquarius reminds us that we can stand completely whole and utterly alone.

With this in mind, I encourage all singles to be their own goddamn Valentine.

Date yourself and pull out all the stops; wear the good underwear, spring for the orchids, and order dessert.

Whether you spend the day in the company of lovers, friends, or your own fine self, find inspiration in our Valentine’s Day date ideas based on your zodiac sign.

“I dare you” is an aphrodisiac for the Aries ilk, so up the ante and heighten the stakes by suggesting a potentially permanent mistake.

Leave it up to your lover to pick stick-and-poke or professional, but either way, it shall be a holiday to remember.

For the needle-averse or the newly coupled, consider taking a sharpie to the back of your beloved and leaving a meaningful message in slightly less committal ink.

Taurus is associated with the Greek god of wine and revelry, ladies and gentlemen Dionysus.

To seduce a bull in the manner of the gods, revert to ritual.

Insist on either togas, sheer fabric, or nudity as the dress code, light an unearthly number of candles, buy very, very good wine, fill every bowl in sight with grapes, and make sure there’s easy access to fancy AF pizza in the freezer.

A combination of grazing, good lighting, and not leaving the house will be pure poetry to the Taurus in question.

Inspired by GQ’s Couple’s Quiz video series, invite your beloved to ask and answer key trivia questions. Whether the queries and results are based on established info for couples with a history or a guessing game for the newly attached, it’s an excellent exercise in communication exchange, the favored forte of Geminis.

Of all the signs in the zodiac, Cancer is the most likely to cast an eye, and a rose-colored lens to the past. Lean into this nostalgic quality by recreating your first date, either by returning to the scene of the first spark or carnal crime, or incorporating elements of the experience, i.e., cooking a meal inspired by the restaurant, stealing mugs from the cafe where you shared your first meal, wearing what you wore when you were introduced, etc.

Paint, photograph, or otherwise capture the Leo in your life in repose, practiced side eye, or the glorious buff.

Leo rules the fifth house of sex, creativity, and play, so if you don’t fancy yourself a creator in the traditional sense, consider investing in a kit to make abstract art while getting it on with the Love is Art Canvas and Paint Kit.

Virgo is an earth sign that is most at home in nature.

If the weather permits, take a long romantic walk in the woods/park and plan for a picnic.

If it’s too cold for this behavior, consider a stroll through the botanical gardens or a visit to a greenhouse.

Virgos are a practical lot, so if you choose the latter location, forego a bouquet and tell your lover to choose whatever potted plant warms their heart.

The average Libra may suggest they don’t care about Valentine’s Day, which will be a lie.

As a sign of partnership, they do care, and you’d better come correct with the tasteful and the unexpected, and don’t even f***ing think about carnations.

To ensure a successful evening and improve your chances of getting lucky, cook them a meal at home or make reservations at a place you can barely afford.

Whichever you choose, bear in mind that the greatest gift you can give a Libra is decisiveness. Take all of the choices off the table and set it as prettily as possible.

Don’t ask them what they want; show them that you already know.

Scorpios prefer the quiet and the dark and are thrilled by a surprise.

Honor these preferences by taking them to a speakeasy, cemetery, or escape room.

If you prefer the insular, and god knows they do, create an intimate cave in your home. Light the candles, draw the shades, recite a poem you’ve memorized (may I suggest this one by fellow Scorpion Sylvia Plath), and maybe bring out the Ouija board for kicks and kinks. 

Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars

Sagittarius peeps like to have a good time all the time and tend to feel right at home and right on target in a dive bar with a karaoke machine.

Touched by honesty, hilarity, and earnest displays of emotion, any archer will swoon at peanuts on the floor and an embarrassing serenade from their significant other.

Capricorn is in it for the long haul and the premium payoff.

They don’t have time or money to waste on small talk or cheap overtures, so the move here is to sit down and settle into the “36 Questions That Lead to Love,” an exercise in openness and a step towards closeness for the typically closed-off Cap.

It might feel at first a bit more like a job interview than a date, but that’s akin to kink for this lot. 

Aquarius is associated with higher thinking, space travel, toe shoes, artificial intelligence, and other future-forward pursuits. Honor their otherworldliness by taking them to an observatory or a remote location with clear skies to ponder.

Download a star tracking app, and keep warm with a thermos full of hooch or astrologically relevant tea. 

Pisces is ruled by Neptune, the planet of dreams, delusions, and the escapist energy of cinema.

To fulfill a fish this Valentine’s Day, grab a white sheet, a projector, and an unexpected movie, like “Wings of Desire” or something more explicit, like softcore porn or “9 1/2 Weeks.

These people are easily swayed/seduced by pastel colors, fairy lights, cotton candy, and ketamine, so make sure to have some or all present in your curated nest.  

Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture, and personal experience. To book a reading, visit her website.