Want to land a job using the same principles you’d use to land a man?

For a workaholic way to celebrate Valentine’s Day, @work asked “Girl On Top” author Nicole Williams how she turned a gift basket full of dating guides she received as a depressed divorcee into a multimedia empire of career advice.

From “The Rules” to “He’s Just Not That Into You,” the working-girl guru explains how she managed to re-purpose classic advice like “Don’t give away the milk for free” and “Don’t bash your ex” to guarantee a big fat workplace raise rather than a big fat sparkling wedding ring.

Oh, and full disclosure: As a fellow divorcee who also cuddled up to dating books when my marriage crumbled, I can fully vouch for the power of using romantic mojo to boost your work life. In fact, when I was offered my job at The Post in 2005, I know one of the reasons the proposal was made was because it was clear I was getting plenty of competing attention.

Build desirability — and the career benefits will come.

And yes, Steinem and friends, Williams is proffering the unconventional wisdom to use your womanly wiles to get ahead.

“I’ve had this conversation many times before and can hear the outrage now,” she writes in a section called “Dirty Little Secret.”

Get over it, says Williams, who argues that to deny the influence of female desirability is to deny human nature.

To illustrate the point, she recalls doing a television interview with a woman who suggested on-air that she was putting the women’s movement back 50 years. Off the air, when asked if she had ever used her beauty to her advantage, the TV personality replied, “Of course I have.”

So what exactly is the success rate of playing-hard-to-get strategies in the business world?

“I think these techniques are 50 percent effective for dating and 90 percent effective for work,” says Williams, whose story is now being turned into a movie by Bruce Cohen, the producer behind “Milk” and “American Beauty.”

Which leads us to her Top 10 rules for dating quick-fixes you can apply to the workplace. Just remember, ladies: Don’t sleep your way to the top. Unless you’re doing it metaphorically. Because then it’s totally fine.

Rule No. 1: Follow your heart

The same female intuition that tells you when it’s time to drop a loser guy will tell you when you need out of a job. So listen to it. Even if everyone tells you you’re nuts.

“Like in dating,” Williams says, “some women make the mistake of thinking that the first job has to be the right job for the rest of your life.”

Don’t settle, girlfriend.

“Ultimately,” she says, “we get the job and the man we think we deserve.”

Rule No. 2: Treat him mean to keep him keen

“You have to be able to say no,” Williams advises.

The same way she wouldn’t take bad behavior from a date, she says, “You have to stand up for yourself. You’re not being a bitch for the sake of being a bitch.”

Same principle applies in negotiation. Using classic salary (or marriage proposal!) negotiation techniques like saying, “This wasn’t what I was expecting” when an offer is made can be extremely effective.

The way women can give away their power? Cry or get too excited. Instead, put him on the defensive.

Rule No. 3: Keep your mouth shut

Quite simply, says Williams, “Everyone has a streak of bats – – – crazy that you don’t need the people working around you day in and day out to know about.”

Just as you wouldn’t bring up having baby fever on a drinks date, don’t fly your freak flag at the job interview.

And for obvious reasons, keep your digital mouth shut, too.

To wit: “I was interviewing someone recently, and I found a picture of her bare breasts on the Internet,” she says. “That’s too much information. In the digital age, you’ve got to control the message.”

Rule No. 4: Keep it brief

Just like on a date, in a workplace setting, Williams advises, “Leave when you’re having the most fun. It feels the opposite of what you should be doing, but you’ll thank me later.”

That doesn’t mean cutting out when the interviewer’s in mid-question, but be an emotional-intelligence rock star who doesn’t sit there staring when everyone else starts to eye the clock.

For one thing, by being the one to bring things to a close, you let your actions do the talking. You’re not saying that you’re really busy or in demand, you’re showing it — a far more powerful message.

“You don’t owe them specifics,” Williams reminds. “Just like a guy, they don’t know if you’re going on another date, and the employer doesn’t know if you’re going on another interview.”

Rule No. 5: If you’ve got it, flaunt it

Many hard-driving females will disagree, but it’s futile to deny that sexuality plays a role in workplace politics, says Williams — so you might as well use it. That doesn’t mean being provocative, notes Williams, who believes that as a heterosexual female, you can flirt with women, too.

“It’s about acknowledging that there is power in desire and using that to your advantage,” she writes.

Think: “How To Win Friends and Influence People” with a splash of chemistry. And remember that being charming and enigmatic are two of the biggest tools someone can use in business.

Incidentally, women who try to dress like a desexualized man end up being even more distracting. Go for the pencil skirt instead.

Rule No. 6: Don’t bash your ex

“It makes you look infantile,” she says. “It says way more about you than your ex-boyfriend or ex-company.” Also, gossip equals bad. Resist.

Rule No. 7: Don’t expect to change him

“What you see is what you get,” she says. “Don’t spend five years in the wrong job or the wrong relationship.”

Williams talks about the women who stay with a major corporation trying to change it, and she asks, “Why? Are you delusional?”

Think it’s hard to get a man to put the toothpaste cap back on the tube? Try changing a multinational corporation.

And on a job interview: Steer far clear of the guy who treats his secretary poorly. You may know him as the same guy who treats the waiter poorly on a date.

Rule No. 8: Play hard to get

Remember the prophecy of “The Rules” to never accept a date after Wednesday and always get off the phone first?

Oh yeah, you do.

“If you’re easy, it implies no one else wants you,” she says. “You need to appear in demand.”

The example Williams likes to give is of a professional speaker she knows who created a hot-ticket reputation simply by saying “No” to more engagements.

“Sometimes,” she says, “you have to give the impression of limited supply in order to increase demand.”

So know your worth. Ask questions. And don’t take the first offer that comes along.

“It shows that you know what your value is.”

Rule No. 9: Get a life

“Martyrdom is ugly,” she straight-talks. The world doesn’t revolve around you, and just like the pining, needy, “I like everything that you like!” girl in the dating comparison, this same girl in the working world is as uplifting to be around as a lead balloon.

And if you do have it harder than everyone? Kvetch to your mom or therapist or gay best friend. Not your co-workers.

Rule No. 10:
Put on some gloss

“Regardless of how smart and lovely you are, a little effort shows you’re in the game,” she says. “People don’t notice when you’re groomed. They notice when you’re ungroomed.”

Just as many men confess their biggest fear is that a woman will let herself go, many employers fear that your “interview self” will collapse.

“I’m divorced,” Williams says. “Every day when I was married, I would come home and slip into my pajamas. If I would have put in a little effort, it would have served me well.”

And one bonus rule: Don’t give away the milk for free.

Meaning your talent, your time, your psychic energy.

“If you give it away on the first date, men may think you don’t value what you have to offer,” she says. “Just give them a taste.”

mstadtmiller@nypost.com