Haute court-ure!

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Dec 18, 2013

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Suspect: Paz de la Huerta Charge: Throwing a drink, then showing her cool, collected side in a white suit. Simon Says: “Paz is on-trend for spring!” says Simon Doonan, creative ambassador-at-large for Barneys. “The tailored mens-wear is intended to make her look serious. The effect is slightly different from the one she intended: Instead of looking like a sensible ‘business lady,’ she ends up looking more like a fabulous hired assassin.” Steven Hirsch

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Suspect: Lindsay Lohan Charge: Stealing a necklace and going AWOL from the Navy. Simon Says: “Usually she knocks it out of the park, or the courthouse. However, I am not buying the new casual, sensible, conservative separates. This bourgeois Brentwood look did not fool the judge, either. And we, Lindsay’s fans, would much prefer her in a tight, entrance-making frock.” Toby Canham/Getty Images

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Lohan channeled Sharon Stone in “Basic Instinct” for her February court date. Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images

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Suspect: Winona Ryder Charge: Affecting a chic, Catholic schoolgirl look while wearing the same designer she shoplifted from Saks. Simon Says: “Winona Ryder is still the reigning queen of courtroom couture. Her chicness did not stop the judge from finding her guilty. But that’s not the point. The point is to wow your fans and exceed their fashion expectations.” Johnathan Alcorn/Splash News

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