What kind of a princess doesn’t wear a tiara?

Kate Middleton, I’m looking at you.

You’re young, you’re beautiful, you have a killer body and . . . You’re. A. Princess.

Which begs the question: Why, when you have access to the most glamorous clothes and jewels in the world, do you insist on playing it safe?

I’m sure there are a gazillion royal rules to live by: adhering to specific hemlines and dressing demurely, all the while maintaining a sense of royal decorum. But that doesn’t mean you have to succumb to some of the snoozy suiting you opted for during this recent royal tour Down Under.

Princess Diana likely had style restrictions, yet she worked the fashion angle any way she could. Were there blunders? Sure. But she relished the risks in the most fabulous way.

Where is the sparkle, Kate? The flair? The fashion!? You are a beacon of hope to princess-wannabes everywhere, so when a press release’s photo of you beautifully smiling in yet another dress coat pops up in my inbox, it makes me want to shake you by your overly padded shoulders and say: Swap out those “trusty” LK Bennett pumps for a glittering pair of Manolo Blahniks. And maybe throw on a ball gown once in a while.