Strictly speaking, “fast food” and “lobster” aren’t terms you wish to see together, much like “all you can eat” and “sushi.”
At its very best, lobster must be served fresh. If you’re eating it in roll form, it should come from a seaside shack somewhere along Route 1 in Maine, preferably served up by a large man whose nickname is “Tiny.” (You laugh, but there are many such men in Maine.)

If you're ordering a McDonald's lobster roll, you deserve something terrible to happen to you, like eating a McDonald's lobster roll
— Brett ______ (@BrettRedacted) July 14, 2015

This summer, McDonald’s revived its limited-time lobster roll for its summer menu after a 10-year hiatus. Unfortunately — or very fortunately, depending on your view of fast-food lobster rolls — it’s only available in New England.

Since we couldn’t get a taste of the McLobster in NYC, we decided to sample some of the other inexpensive shellfish sandwiches around Midtown — two franchise spots and one food truck — to see how they stacked up to the real deal. We rated them on a scale of one to five lobsters, five being the worthiest.

Corner of 46th Street and Sixth Avenue; follow @nylobsterclub for exact locations
Classic lobster roll, $16

Aw, yeah. Finally, someone who understands the necessity of a hot dog bun as part of the lobster-roll equation. No brioche or croissant at

this food truck

, and plenty of the good stuff — pure meat, nothing else getting in the way. The lobster itself could stand to be spiced up a bit more, but I guess that’s where the Sriracha sauce on the counter can help. All in all, a very respectable lobster showing.

1200 Sixth Ave.
Lobster roll on a brioche bun, $8.99

While no self-respecting lobster roll in Maine would ever be served on a brioche bun (the authentic version comes on a hot dog roll, no debate), this version works surprisingly well. The bread holds its own against the lobster meat, avoiding the lobster roll cardinal sin of sogginess. There’s a good proportion of lobster to the other ingredients (diced celery, onion, yellow bell peppers for crunch and a squeeze of lemon juice), and the lobster itself tastes fresh.

Quite tasty

.

599 Lexington Ave.
Lobster salad sandwich on a croissant, $12.99

No, no, no! This one is a real mess. The croissant doesn’t just get soggy as you eat it, it starts out that way from the get-go. The field greens are a nice touch, but there is virtually no reason to get a lobster sandwich from

ABP

when you could just head to

Luke’s Lobster on Eighth Avenue and 45th Street

for the real deal.