When Lauren Roth Shaw started planning her dream wedding three years ago, she knew one thing for certain: She didn’t want a maid of honor.

“I wanted a man of honor,” the 37-year-old Astoria resident tells The Post.

Her best friend of more than 20 years, Brian Gligor, had to be the one to ease her nerves on the big day, gingerly adjust her train as she walked down the aisle, and deliver a gut-busting speech at the reception.

Luckily, her husband, Brendan Shaw, 42, was on board.

“He thought it was such a good idea, he [had] his sister [be] his ‘best maiden,’ ” says Shaw, laughing.

While such untraditional wedding parties were once rare, more and more brides and grooms are ignoring gender when choosing who they want next to them on the big day.

“Over the last two to three years, I’ve seen this trend take off,” says Anadina Gratereaux-Saladino, a wedding coordinator who’s worked in the industry for 21 years.

But not everyone is in love with the idea.

“[It] definitely blew my old Jewish family’s minds a bit,” says Shaw. “Some of them felt like, ‘Well, that’s not traditional, so it’s wrong somehow.’ ”

For Naseem Raffee — who’s planning to get hitched at Brooklyn’s the Dumbo Loft this September — it’s her “less open-minded” co-workers who are taking issue with her best friend, Randy Shamma, being her man of honor.

“They’ll ask things like, ‘Who’s he gonna walk down the aisle with? A guy!?’ All panicked,” says Raffee, 38 and a makeup artist. “It’s really condescending and just not nice.”

But, she’s sticking to her guns. Melissa Copestake did the same. The 33-year-old had six female bridesmaids, but she insisted best bud Ryan Barry, 34, be her man of honor.

“He’s like my friend soul mate,” says Copestake, a high school English teacher living in Doylestown, Pa. “You always hear stories about bridal parties like, ‘Oh, there’s so much drama, I had to put this person in for this reason,’ and it’s like, ‘No, just put the people you want in the roles you want them.’ ”

Barry excitedly accepted her offer, and even helped plan her bridal shower and bachelorette party.

“Going into a Spencer’s gift store to buy penis straws was really interesting,” says Barry, who admits it was his first foray into the sexy section. “I was like, ‘Just give me everything with a dick on it.’ ”

The dutiful man of honor kept up the saucy shenanigans on Copestake’s wedding day last August, when he drew a male member on her wedding vows to make her laugh.

“That’s the beauty of having a man of honor, and exactly why I needed him there,” Copestake says, giggling.

But the role wasn’t without a few awkward moments.

“Prep before the ceremony was pretty funny,” says Barry. “All these women were getting their hair and makeup done and wearing robes, but I’m just, like, this bald dude drinking mimosas like, ‘OK, cool.’ ”

The blushing bride’s husband, Gary, 31, also opted for a best maiden to join his party of five groomsmen.

“Our families understood, but I did wonder if anyone at the wedding was thinking it was weird,” says Copestake.

Both Copestake’s and Shaw’s men of honor wore suits, but Raffee is leaving it up to Shamma to decide.

“If he wants to wear something flowy and fabulous, he’s welcome to,” she says.

The break of custom is one of several “antiquated” matrimonial rituals being phased out by progressive brides, says Lauren Schaefer, a New York City wedding coordinator who organized Shaw’s nuptials.

“People are doing away with very traditional wedding elements like garter belts, the bouquet toss [and] giving away the bride,” she says.

Gratereaux-Saladino agrees.

“Brides are feeling empowered to push the envelope and revolutionize how things have been done,” she says. “They’re not afraid to rock the boat — or aisle.”