50 ways to skeeve your lover?
Every Valentine’s Day, self-proclaimed sexperts suggest expressions women can use to verbally enhance hanky panky.
However, one cheeky California influencer decided to hilariously flip the script and reveal the five things you should never say to your partner in the bedroom — as these discouraging words are certain to spoil the big moment.
“Right now there’s a trend going around about the top things that girls will say in bed to talk him through it and I thought I would contribute mine,” explained Jasmine Parniani in the satirical clip, which boasts 1.6 million views.
“Is this amount of sweat normal, have you talked to a doctor?” she asked while demonstrating one of the c-blocking phrases. TikTok/sirdoglordNumber one on the list of verbal turnoffs? Unwanted commentary on their performance in the boudoir.
“Why are you breathing so hard?” asked the Los Angeles native in a low voice while demonstrating this offputting pillow talk.
For her second anticlimactic phrase, Parniani inquired in the same tone: “Are you almost done?”
The influencer was lampooning the V-day trend of sexperts suggesting ways people can verbally enhance the sexual experience. Roman – stock.adobe.comThe phrases continued to get more ridiculous the further the self-proclaimed relationship expert got into the list — with the next pertaining to a partner’s perspiration.
“Is this amount of sweat normal, have you talked to a doctor?” she asked with a grimace.
For the fourth and final bit of anti-romantic rhetoric, Parniani gazed sympathetically at the viewer while inquiring: “Is this your first time?”
Parniani also suggested commenting on one’s partner’s performance. TikTok/sirdoglord
The parody had viewers in hysterics with one bemused fan sarcastically gushing: “My husband is going to love this on Valentine’s Day! Following for more relationship advice.”
Another wrote: “This healed me immediately.”
Meanwhile, other wits contributed their own responses sure to make any romantic partner recoil.
“We can take a break if you want” joked one.
Another wrote, “I also love saying, ‘Have other women liked this??'”
“I have said ‘Is that it?’ before by accident,” recalled one commenter.
One viewer said, “I like ‘do you always make that face?'”
By popular demand, Parniani also released a part two of her series on what not to say during sex, which included asking him if his friend is single and freaking out over the shape of his phallus.
