It’s not you … it’s R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

A self-proclaimed “mindset” and dating coach on TikTok is going viral after claiming to know the exact reason why so many women are struggling to find a man to commit.

In the video, Chris Nappi, aka @confidencechris, told his million followers that men don’t want to be with women who are so-called people pleasers.

“You give him what he wants all the time, you don’t care, you think that by continuing to hang out with him, and, ‘Oh, if I just sleep with him, oh, if I just keep staying around, something’s gonna happen,'” Nappi said. “No. The reality is that he’s never gonna date you.”

Nappi continued, explaining that at the end of the day it all comes down to respect: “He doesn’t respect you because you don’t respect yourself.”

“Because you’re disrespecting your own desires, guess what?” Nappi asked. “He feels that. He knows that. He knows that you want more, and that’s the reason he will never give it to you, because you are unwilling to ask for it yourself.”

Nappi also shares more about his tips and his life on the Nappi & Jay podcast, a show that he co-hosts with his best friend, Jay Felix.

In the comments section of the viral TikTok, some users were mind-blown by Nappi’s hypothesis, calling it a “hard truth.”

“It’s starting to click,” one viewer wrote. “Do your own thing and you’ll attract. You never have to try hard. They know what they’re doing.” Agreed another, “This man speaks facts!!! Had I known this a while ago I’d be successful already.”

“This is the hard truth that I had to open my eyes to a year and a half ago,” rued one viewer. “I still love him but I have to love myself MORE.”

However, some slammed Nappi and his advice, explaining that sometimes a guy can just be a total “player.”

Wrote on critic, “I totally disagree. Most of the time he’s a player and he doesn’t respect himself!!!”

“I don’t think he is that smart,” another added about Nappi.