We all know Romeo standing outside Juliet’s window is a thing of the past — but apparently so is waiting until at least the second text to mention penis length.

Thanks to Tinder, a whole new level of cringe-worthy pickup lines have entered the courting process — and the Instagram feed @tindernightmares chronicles the worst of the worst to its 1.4 million followers. On Tuesday, the popular account released “Tinder Nightmares,” a paperback collection of the most OTT dating-app convos — so now these, ahem, “poetic” lines can sit next to Shakespeare atop your bookshelf.

Here, a few of the most gag-inducing icebreakers: