According to mushy mailers at the James Farley Post Office near Penn Station

“Buy a pack of love stamps and say, ‘Guess they customized these for us.’ “ — Brenna

“Ask her if she likes overnight packages from interesting men.” — Jod

“Say, ‘If you were my boyfriend, I’d always make you priority male.’ “ — Julianne

“Say, ‘I’m just like the post office: Neither snow nor rain will keep

me from getting to you.’ “ — C.C.

“If she catches you staring at her body, say, ‘Sorry, I was just checking to see if you had any explosives or hazardous materials in there.’ “