“Say, ‘I always order decaf because I’m stimulating enough all on my own.’ ” — Megan

“Spill your grande coffee all over your grande breasts and ask for help cleaning up.” — Les

“Compliment the barista on her excellent hand grip on the cappuccino machine.” — Richard

“Point to the name on his coffee cup, then say, ‘So that’s the name I’ll be screaming later?’ ” — Jessica

“Buy a special blend of coffee beans from South America and announce really loud, ‘I love to put exotic things in my mouth.’ ” — Jupee