According to “geniuses” at the Apple Store

“Say, ‘My dog ate my homework. Want to heavy pet?’ ”— Maureen

“Say, ‘Those who can’t do, teach. Why don’t you stop teaching and start doing me?’ ” — Dave

“Tell her you don’t want to do homework because you’d rather study her.” — Annie

“Say, ‘I’d like to have indoor recess with you tonight.’” — Trey

“Say, ‘How about I teach you some math? You plus me plus the hot Spanish teacher equals my dream come true.’ ” — Mike