The view from up top at Le Meridien Sunny Isles in Miami(ish).

The Le Meridien brand has had somewhat of a bumpy ride of late.

Let’s see. Saddled with debt. (They would have gone bankrupt if Wall Street hadn’t stepped in.) Functioning without purpose. (Who is Le Meridien, and what does it stand for? Discuss.) Grossly under-represented in North America. (The company’s Los Angeles, Chicago and Minneapolis properties all deflagged in recent years. New York is represented in the brand only by the tenuously connected, somewhat strange Parker Meridien property on 57th Street, where the best features are on the lobby level.)

Let’s put it this way – there is nothing constant or reliable about this brand at the moment, at least not on our shores.

Enter White Plains-based macher Starwood Hotels & Resorts, which took the reins at corporate a little while back.

With the opening of a Cambridge, Mass. property like, right now, there are six properties in the United States, one in Mexico and two in Canada.

Starwood has plans for more though – Philadelphia was just announced (an Arch Street address – the old Y – but actually at the foot of an ever-improving N. Broad St.), and there will no doubt be more.

So how would new (and improved) Le Meridien flag-flyers make a splash?

In a big way. They’ve hired Jean-Georges to make you breakfast, and Mr. Illy to serve you coffee.

Okay, so, not quite. But Vongerichten and Illy will be consulting, along with a growing team of artists being brought on board to create “unique experiences” at the properties. What these experiences will be is anyone’s guess. If we had gone to the party at the Le Meridien Sunny Isles Beach (tres glam!) last week, we would have been well-informed. (Well-lubed, more like.)

This big push is being called the LM100, which sounds like a model of a car we can’t afford, but actually refers to the number of people Starwood wants in its consulting consortium of artists, chefs and other fancy people (“A group of international creators” is the precise description) who will lend the brand some cred in an increasingly sophisticated market. There will be a Cultural Curator at the brand as well. This will “transform the guest experience.” This will reel in the young, creative market. (Again, that’s what they said.)

Yes, but can they transform those cramped rooms at Sunny Isles? Interesting to see what they’ll do at the New York Parker property, as well as its Palm Springs sister, which doesn’t even deign to use the Meridien name, referring to itself merely as the Parker Palm Springs but remains in the Le Meridien inventory. The latter, as Bravo-watchers know, has in the past been rather heavily curated by designer Jonathan Adler. So anyone looking to add their two cents may want to sharpen their claws.

UPDATE 10:54 AM An alert tipster who was at the Sunny Isles launch emails thusly:

“The best part of the brand new Le Meridien cultural experience is the “sound installation” in the elevator. It’s a 24-hour loop of sound, tied to the time of day, designed by a sound artist…when I asked them why they were piping such annoying sounds into the elevator (…decidedly NOT restful) it was explained that it was created to start conversations with other people — because riding in elevator is an ‘awkward experience’ otherwise. So, to answer your question of what qualities are associated with Le Meridien, I’m going to say social anxiety.”