Behold, the healing power of Jamaica….and I’m not even talking about the weed. In the late 19th century, Montego Bay doubled as a kind of natural hospital after some hippie sawbones named Alexander James McCatty came to town — between the curative, crystalline waters and enveloping sunlight, your TB didn’t stand a chance. Or if it did, you died happy.

Doctor’s Cave Beach has been admitting patients ever since. Why, you’re looking a bit pale yourself. Better call you an ambulance. We recommend Air Jamaica, who just can’t help itself from offering increasingly crazier deals week to week. Book a roundtrip flight out from NYC by next Tuesday and pay only $99 each way, for travel Sept. 6 through Dec. 10. Then, get an all-inclusive hospital bed over at the Hotel Riu Montego Bay for $99 per person when you book by Monday the 13th, for stays August 23 through October 29.

Healthcare, schmealthcare!

(photo by shutterstock.com)