Hail, Colombia, happy land/Grace Bastidas

THE WEATHER

The Caribbean coast is hot, hot, hot throughout the day — 86 degrees is the average but the humidity makes it feel like 100 — and slightly cooler at night. Think Aruba (just a couple hundred miles to the Northeast), but wet.

THE LOCALS

Colombians are proud of their heritage, and love sharing their culture with visitors — preferably over a few drinks and some salsa music. Don’t be overly suspicious of their friendliness, especially on the coast, where locals are much more informal.

SAFETY ISSUES

Violence has gone down significantly in the country — even the buzz-killers at the U.S. Department of State say so. However, as in Mexico, which has many of the same problems that make Colombia notorious, you’ll still need to use common sense. It’s best not to travel alone. Don’t wear flashy jewelry. Beware of pickpockets. Be safe — don’t wander down empty streets. You know the drill. COKE IS STILL IT

Colombia remains the world’s leading coca cultivator, providing the U.S. market with the majority of their inventory. That is a fact.

THE LAYOUT

Water babies rejoice, Colombia is the only South American country with coastlines on both the North Pacific Ocean and the Caribbean Sea. For those who like to keep their options open, Colombia also has almost-Alpine peaks, valleys, plains, rainforests, Amazon jungle, islands.

WHEN NOT TO GO

Three-day weekends abound with Colombians commemorating about 14 religious holidays a year. The beach resorts fill up faster than the churches so make sure and plan in advance if you want to visit during Easter, when hotels jack up their rates.

WHAT TO PACK

Don’t forget sunscreen, a wide-brimmed hat, and mosquito repellant — those pesky critters love fresh blood. If your destination is Tayrona National Park, bring sneakers, snorkeling gear, a flashlight and lots of batteries. You can buy your stash of rum at the duty free just like everybody else.

ABOUT YOUR LUGGAGE

Make sure your bags are padlocked (shady baggage handlers may want a memento from your trip) and preferably do carry-on if at all possible. Also, Avianca Airlines in particular has been known to forget bags — again, carry on, carry on, carry on. At least make sure to have a few changes of clothes in there in case your checked luggage takes a few days to catch up with you.

ON THE ROAD

Arrange transportation from the airport in advance (check the print edition for our recommendations from both Barranquilla and Santa Marta airports) and avoid looking like a frightened tourist when random cabbies start approaching you. Driving along the coast is pretty safe: Armed guards patrol the tolls — you’ll recognize them by their fatigues and big guns. Also, don’t be startled by roaming salesman selling food and children asking for spare change along the road. It’s part of the local color.

YOUR HEALTH

Tap water is decent quality but don’t risk it — go instead for bottled. Opt for coconut water if you’re on the beach. If you become ill during the trip, head to a nearby pharmacy, where the necessary drugs for gastrointestinal difficulties are sold over the counter. If it’s really serious, don’t freak out, Colombia has great medical facilities.

WHAT TO EAT

If you want a to start the day off right, try an arepa con huevo (a griddlecake stuffed with a fried egg) and steaming hot chocolate with farmer’s cheese (estilo Santafereño). The typical dish of the Caribbean coast is fried snapper, coconut rice, and patacones (fried plantains) and tastes even better by the sea.

WHAT TO (NOT) DRINK

Aguardiente (firewater) is the national liquor. Don’t be fooled by the unassuming clear liquid, which is made out of sugar cane. It’s downed from a communal shot glass and isn’t called “firewater” for nothing.

MONEY MATTERS

Colombia is relatively cheap. The exchange rate is usually about 2000 pesos for every dollar — more if you use the ATM. You can buy an empanada, a cup of coffee, and the day’s paper or surf the web for 30 minutes at an Internet café for that amount. Note: Never exchange currency on the street, a common scam.

SHOPPING

Remember to haggle when buying handicrafts — that $22 hammock could end up costing you $15. It can’t hurt to ask for the lowest price. Must-have items include replicas of Pre-Columbian jewelry, knapsacks like the Tayrona Indians used to carry and anything made of caña flecha, a palm tree fiber that is used for furniture, hats, purses, and other common items.

BEST GUIDEBOOK

Lonely Planet does a decent job, though the writer missed a few of the best restaurants – remember to seek out La Casa de Socorro when in Cartagena and Muelle 8 in Santa Marta — hands down two of the best seafood restaurants on the coast.

PLAYLIST

Shakira, a Barranquilla native, isn’t the only Colombian making music. Before going, load your iPod with rockers Juanes, Cabas and Aterciopelados, tropical music king Joe Arroyo, salsa samurais Grupo Niche, vallenato bad boy Carlos Vives, romantic crooner Fonseca, and, of course, some vintage Shakira (en español!).

— Grace Bastidas