It’s the last day. Everyone seems a little bummed. And also antsy. The elevators are full, dining rooms are overflowing, everyone’s just milling around, trying to take it all in before our arrival in Bayonne at zero dark thirty tomorrow.

Who can blame us for not wanting to rejoin the real world? And what is Nova Scotia doing over there, just staring. Please go away.

In the end, it wouldn’t matter what landmass we were near. They’ve all got cellphone service and cable television, and my blood pressure is rising just thinking about it. I think I have anxiety issues.

Then again, perhaps it is time to get home: There’s been a tiny outbreak of ship bug on this trip – the news of which traveled via the somber faces of the staff, who have been playing hide-the-tongs in the Kings Court buffet for the past day and a half.

At lunch today, however, it was back to self-serve. Either everyone’s gotten well, or they figure that we’re close enough to New York that if an outbreak happens, it’ll be on the bus to JFK, and therefore, who cares.

It hasn’t been at all like that, though – you get the sense on a typical ship that nobody cares, but this isn’t just any ship. The quality of the experience has been largely surprising.

This is why I travel. Everything I’ve read, good and bad, did not prepare me for what I experienced this past week. Am currently banging out a feature for the Oct. 10 print edition, tentatively titled EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE QUEEN MARY 2 BEFORE BOOKING.

Of course, the headline will be more clever, and shorter. But you get the point. Anyone who’s been and has tips or secrets to add, email me at dlandsel @ nypost.com.

Anyway. It’s been real. Time to go pack, time for the last drinks and the last dinner. Should be in bed by 9, hopefully, polishing off the last of the Macallan and watching The Maltese Falcon, which is playing on Channel 25 all day today.

We’ll be sailing under the Verrazano between 4 o’clock and 4:30 tomorrow morning – I’ll be up, out on my balcony, drinking tea. Not that we have any choice in the matter. Deck 10 residents have to be at immigration, down in steerage, by 5:45.

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