No question, Clinton and Monica have the best cigar story of all time, but if you’re harboring one only about an eighth that romantic, now’s the time to let it out.

It could win you and a trio of your randiest friends a 3-day/2-night trip to Las Vegas at The Palms to hang out with Hope Dworaczyk (a k a Miss April 2009), Crystal McCahill (a k a Miss May ’09 and dynasty daughter of Gale Olson, Miss August 1968) and tons of other extraterrestrially hot women at the Playboy Club, not to mention a chance to win $1,000,000 at the roulette wheel.

Here’s how it works: Write a 100-200 word essay about your experience smoking a premium Macanudo cigar — could be funny, could be sentimental, could be noirish, just make it half-way literate and un-creepy (no essays about Hope’s feet, e.g.) — and submit it to the Macanudo Millionaire site by Oct. 31. It’ll be judged on creativity (40%), conveyance of the cigar lifestyle (30%) and relevance to Macanudo (30%). And just to recap: 0% on creepiness! Winner will be crowned on or around Nov. 21.