After dealing with the initial shock of learning that there are to be no three-star Michelin restaurants in Their Town (like, totally unfair!), San Francisco wants to get even. A hilarious bit of serious investigative reporting in today’s Chron lists the mistakes in the guide, which debuted earlier this week.

As far as who won, in case you haven’t heard, the lone three star award went, predictably, to Thomas Keller’s French Laundry in Yountville.

Of the two star awards – there were four – only two are in San Francisco. Aqua in the Financial District (some idiot told me it was ‘over,’ went anyway, loved it) and Michael Mina, in the Westin hotel (you should be excused for forgetting it exists, since Mina is so busy sowing his seed elsewhere these days).

The other two are nowhere near town: Manresa, way down in suburban Los Gatos, and Cyrus, up in Healdsburg, next to an auto repair shop and inside the trippy, overpriced, faux-French-meets-Medieval Times-on-the-cheap Les Mars Hotel.

Gary Danko and Alice Waters, who both got one star apiece, are huddled on an organic farm somewhere, plotting revenge.

Oh, and also? Best quote ever, from Slanted Door‘s Charles Phan (no stars): “I’m a local boy, so I don’t read that stuff. I don’t kiss up to the French.”