Land? Four Seasons don’t need no stinkin’ land!

No matter whence they come, people love anything on a stick — be it corn dogs and Eskimo pies, or martyrly messiahs and flaming effigies.

No exception are what scientists call over-wateris bungalowicus, commonly found around the Pacific, esp. in Indonesia and French Polynesia — they’re no more, no less, suites situated on stilts in the ocean (see above).

One time I made the mistake of going to Bora Bora ALL BY MYSELF, where I got spit on by French tourists and had my advances turned down by everyone from the bartendress at the Club Med bar to two jet skiing German girls (mein Blut, no less). But even after all that rejection, my self-loathing evaporated the very second I entered my sea-hovering room and found a window in the floor to feed the fish through. Who knows, over-water bungalows might just cure cancer — the research is still out.

Coming late to the over-water party in Bora Bora is Four Seasons, set to open mid-2008. Already here are InterContinental, St. Regis, Pearl, Aman, Le Meridien, Sofitel and beaucoup others… so what’s so different about their over-water bungalows? Uh, nothing that we can see, except there’ll now be 100 more of ’em, which can’t be a bad thing.

If it ain’t broke…