Things moved a lot faster on Vieques back when the US Navy was busy test firing uranium bullets and sinking radiation-exposed ships off shore. 

But now that the heavy metals have (mostly) been cleaned up, everything seems to be in slo-mo. It’s been 31 months since the Martineau Bay Resort closed for good on the Puerto Rican island in order to be reborn as a W Retreat & Spa, and still it’s yet to open.

Even the Freedom Tower builders are like, “What’s taking so long?”

But the first W R&S in North America finally has itself a grand opening date set for later this month: March 25. What have they been doing all this time? Lots. With a big-name Milanese designer at the helm, the place has 157 all-balconied, all-patioed rooms and suites, Har-Tru clay tennis courts (that’s billion-year-old metabasalt there, buddy), a Chakra Spa and the always-hot-chicks-by-the-pool zone, WET. No shame in bailing on that Biobay tour and just vegging out at the hotel.

Rates will start at $289/night, but for $70 more you can land a “Surrender to your Senses” package which includes an upgrade to a Mega Room, champagne and cocktails, daily breakfast and an island-rum-drowned dessert at chef Alain Ducasse’s miX on the Beach for stays through Dec.22. Just book a minimum of two nights and use promo code W OPEN. 877-946-8357