These pants aren’t d - - king around.

Japanese fast fashion retailer Gu — the same company that owns Uniqlo — just debuted what the internet is calling a “penis pocket pant.”

It’s about time menswear joined the fray of pants craziness.

Women’s pantalones have been cheekier than ever these days, thanks to such advents as half jeans and thong shorts.

One note: The so-called pocket on these $15 chinos isn’t actually a pocket at all, but a patch designed to conceal the pants’ zipper. So you can’t keep, say, your house keys or your MetroCard there.

Sorry, guys — you’ll just have to stash your junk someplace else.