British rower Oliver Hicks hoped to make the record books for the fastest west-to-east crossing of the Atlantic when he set off from Atlantic Highlands, N.J., on May 27.

Well, he set a record all right – for the slowest-ever Atlantic crossing. His sight-seaing trip took 124 days – twice the current record of 62.

Hicks, 23, can claim two other records: he was the youngest person and the first Brit to row solo across the pond.

This guy in Muncie, Ind., probably would like to throttle himself.

He was caught napping while he was siphoning gas from a service station’s underground gas supply into a 55-gallon tank in his van with the help of a battery-operated pump and a hose.

Police roused the gasohaulic and arrested him.

A pastor in Lincoln, Neb., got a surprise package by registered mail – it contained 500 Viagra pills.

There was a second surprise in the package – paperwork indicating that the impotency pills had been charged to his stolen credit card.

“I do see the humor in it, but it’s not the type of humor you’d want for yourself,” the pastor noted.

A 200-pound wild pet pig in Boulder Creek, Calif., has been preventing local lawmen from evicting its owner.

Every time sheriff’s deputies try to evict Christian Canabou, he flees into the woods and his porky pal, Kate, keeps them at bay.

“On past occasions it has chased deputies around and chewed up part of a patrol car,” said Sgt. Fred Plageman.

German scientists have invented a beer coaster that can order a refill for you when your pint is almost empty.

The cardboard coaster contains a small, flat baseplate with pressure and acceleration sensors that react to the weight of your glass.

When your brew is nearing the bottom, the microsensors pass the information along to the bar to a computer – and hopefully an attentive bartender.