Foiled by his fast-food fix!

An escaped prisoner was caught trying to get back into Roane County Jail in Tennessee – carrying a bag containing four McDonald’s hamburgers.

You suppose he was the Hamburglar?

A Pennsylvania couple must grin and bear it – now that a 700-pound black bear has decided to hibernate underneath their house.

“It’s very scary,” said Rose Marie Louis-Jacques of Chestnuthill Township. “I’m just praying that he’ll take off. It’s like a bomb under the house.”

A black curtain has risen between a Virginia shopping-mall Santa and a Victoria’s Secret store to shield kids from skimpy undergarments, including a hot-pink thong and a bra with the message, “Give Me Sexy” on display.

“I want to make sure that everyone feels comfortable,” said Mandy York, a spokesman for the mall in Roanoke. “We can’t move the store.”

Hey, Santa – no peeking!

A German brothel located next to a welfare office is offering special discount rates for the unemployed.

“Before, I could only have my fun once every couple of months, if that,” said jobless Bernd Gramm, 48, a patron of the Schulz & Co. brothel in Berlin.

“But now, I can go twice a month for a rock-bottom price, and the quality of the service still remains the same.”

Talk about your bare-bottom prices!

Some people play Christmas carols to get into the holiday spirit – authorities in Holland are playing them to get rid of unruly teens.

Officials in Rotterdam say that since they’ve begun blasting carols from big loudspeakers where youth gangs loiter, the kids have vanished.

Silent night, as they say.

Some cabbies may be surly – but this is ridiculous.

A taxi driver in Denmark bit off the tip of a 48-year-old man’s finger in a brawl over how many people could fit in the cab.

You might say, then, that he got a “tip” after all.