Being locked up in Kentucky’s Little Sandy Correctional Complex really stinks – but living near it is almost as bad.

That’s because sewage fumes from the prison have made the area smell like a giant outhouse, and residents are going berserk.

“It’s a design problem. The sewer lines . . . were designed for the prison at full capacity,” said Maleva Chamberlain of the Kentucky Division of Water. “So what happens, because there is not enough flow, the sewage sits there and goes septic.”

Gee that’s comforting to know.

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They wanted to be safe – now they’re sorry.

Activists unrolled a 60-foot condom over a 50-foot tall monument in Belgrade to promote safe sex.

But the group Youth of Jazas faces a $1,400 fine for “illegally covering the monument,” which was, uh, erected to honor Serbia’s commitment to “opposing colonialism.”

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A department store Santa in London was fired – for being too nice to kids.

Alan Seymour, 57, said he was booted after he refused to stick to a strict 30-second time limit with each youngster.

“Children were bringing me lists they had written. They also wanted to have their picture taken,” he explained. “I was hustled out by bouncers. It was very humiliating.”

Sounds like somebody’s gonna get coal in their stocking.

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Talk about some fishy plastic surgery.

A goldfish named Lucky went under the knife last week in Melbourne, Australia, to remove six unsightly tumors that had grown over his scales.

“It isn’t uncommon for people to seek vet treatment for their fish,” said Dr. Jim Greenwood, who performed the operation.

Let’s hope this doesn’t give Paris Hilton any ideas about Tinkerbell.

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Move over, Scrooge.

The most dreaded Christmas visitor is the mother-in-law, a new survey by Travelodge says.

One in five adults cringes at the thought of their spouse’s mom spending the festive season with them, with folks fearing they’ll stay too long, criticize Christmas dinner, say the house is dirty, smoke and turn up late.