Love me tender, or I’m gone!

That was the threat Jim Curtin’s girlfriend made, when she told him either his Elvis Presley memorabilia goes or she does.

Her warning got Curtin all shook up, and he auctioned off the collection in Beverly Hills.

Among the Elvis goodies that went were three of The King’s concert suits, including one that fetched $125,000.

In all, Curtin netted about $2 million from the sale.

Stephanie Chapu wants to show herself off to the world – when she’s dead.

The 30-year-old mutual-fund worker from Toronto is believed to be the first person to will her future remains to a science group that preserves unwanted corpses with plastic and puts them on exhibit.

“Being buried or cremated – why get rid of your body that way when you can do something else and be useful?” she said.

A contrite Frenchman who stole an ancient carved-wood relic from a Norwegian museum 42 years ago has returned the item.

There’s just one problem – so much time has passed that art experts at the museum north of Oslo say they have absolutely no idea what the object is or from which exhibit it came.

Guess they need someone who can decipher Norse code.

Cops in Croatia thought callers were joking when they complained about a giant penis in the town square. But sure enough there it was – a 17-foot phallus sculpted from snow.

Officers in Karlovac were so amused by the genital giant that they decided to let it melt naturally.

Student Nenad Rizvic, 21, who built the icy organ with his pals, said, “We just wanted to make a slightly different kind of snowman.”