A Bakersfield, Calif., man is grateful he was shot during a robbery at his market.

While Donald Batsch was being treated for bullet wounds to the arm and abdomen, doctors discovered a tumor.

“It was like an act of God that he shot me,” Batsch said of the stickup man, who got away.

Police are hoping to thank the gunman in person, although Batsch would be happy to never see him again.

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Here’s someone who’s not too pleased about being shot.

Deputy Sheriff Jeff Hamric, of Parkersburg, W.Va., accidentally fired a slug into his own leg during a weapons exercise at a police firing range.

His gun discharged as he was returning it to his holster.

Hamric, by the way, is a firearms instructor.

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Guess they couldn’t spare a square.

Police were called to a motel in Charleston, S.C., after two maids began fighting – over toilet paper.

Each one had accused the other of stealing some rolls from her cleaning cart.

The two were swinging away at one another – one armed with a plunger, the other with a mop.

It’s not clear who the winner was. The mop-wielder ended up in the hospital; the plunger-bearer, behind bars.

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The only people happy about this are the folks at the phone company.

A man in Coschocton, Ohio, has been arrested for allegedly making 2,623 harassing and obscene phone calls over a 20-day period – all between 2 a.m. and 3 a.m.

A judge agreed to release him on bail with one stipulation – he can’t use a telephone, cellphone or the Internet.

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Now here’s a hard-luck story.

A burglar in Bielefeld, Germany, has escaped a prison sentence because he suffers from a permanent erection.

Doctors reported to the court that they had spent a week trying to treat his problem, but were able to get his manhood down only to “half-mast.”

Sounds as if he got a stiff sentence even if he doesn’t spend a day behind bars.