You can’t cage this panda.

Virginia zoo officials have been struggling to find new ways to keep a red panda that has escaped twice in the past month inside its pen.

One-year-old Yin has managed to climb up trees into other exhibits, forcing zoo workers to constantly pare back the branches.

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That’s one way to thumb your nose at police.

Thieves who carried a two-ton safe containing $113,000 out a bank vault with a forklift ditched it several miles away with just $2 left inside.

“We feel like that was a statement to mock us,” said Detective Keith Lindley of the Van Buren, Ark., police.

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Arrest that monkey!

A South Korean tourist filed a formal complaint with police in India against the sticky-fingered simian he claims stole his glasses.

Kim Dang Hoon said the monkey darted in through his hotel-room window in Varanasi and grabbed the spectacles.

He says he made the complaint so he can file an insurance claim.

Monkeys harassing tourists is a common problem in the city.

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We all have teeth in our head, but this is ridiculous.

An Australian rugby player kept competing for three months despite excruciating headaches caused by an opponent’s tooth that lodged in his head in a collision.

Ben Czislowski had the wound stitched up following the clash, but last week doctors took another look because he complained of pain.

“I can laugh about it now, but the doctor told me it could have been serious, with teeth carrying germs,” Czislowski said.

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A German bus driver threatened to toss a 20-year-old woman off his bus because her bosoms were distracting him.

“He opened the door and shouted at me, ‘Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can’t concentrate on the traffic,’ ” the woman said.

” ‘If you don’t sit somewhere else, I’m going to have to throw you off the bus.’ ”

Instead, the woman just moved to another seat.