On the night of his wedding, a German farmer learned that his wife was a man.

Wolfgang Zober, 55, said he turned to Internet dating because he had been unlucky in love, and hit it off immediately with Randy Victoria, 38.

“We only had a kiss and cuddle before we married. But on my wedding night, she told me she had a penis – and that her real name was Ralf. I was devastated,” he said.

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Chewing tobacco is bad for you – especially if you’re an armed robber.

When a masked man flashed a knife in a Des Moines, Iowa, convenience store, the cashier hurled two cans of “chaw,” hitting the would-be crook squarely in the face.

A customer then tackled the man, but the robber wriggled free and made a run for it.

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After snorting cocaine, popping Valium, and smoking marijuana, a California man went for a drive – smashing into as many cars as he could in what he claims was part of a secret government experiment, police said.

Antonio Patrinostro, 43, of San Rafael, said the experiment was part of extraterrestrial-related research at Area 51 in Nevada.

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A car wash in Russia cost $500,000 for one driver.

As workers emptied the vacuum cleaner at the St. Petersburg car wash, they discovered a diamond pendant.

“I didn’t know how much it was worth at first, so I got a jeweler to come around,” said the car-wash owner, Vladimir Shapiro.

“When I heard the value, my jaw dropped to the floor. You would have to notice losing something like this.”

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In Uruguay, one might ask, “Where isn’t the beef?”

More than a thousand soldier/chefs barbecued 26,400 pounds of beef to set a new Guinness world record, while promoting the nation’s top export.

The army personnel set up a mile-long grill, and firefighters lit six tons of charcoal to kick off the gargantuan cookout.

Some 1,250 people grilled the beef, and about 20,000 spectators cried with joy when a Guinness judge confirmed the barbecue record had been broken.