You know you’re dealing with a special type of vandal when his calling card is leaving behind a greasy butt-print.

For more than a year, an unknown bandit has been pressing his naked behind – smeared with lotion or petroleum jelly – on the windows of businesses in tiny Valentine, Neb.

“This is the weirdest case I’ve ever seen,” said Police Chief Ben McBride.

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This thief truly sucks.

A man posing as a vacuum cleaner salesman is accused of sucking up $25,000 worth of jewelry from a woman’s home in Cypress, Calif.

But he really cleaned up after himself and is still on the loose as the woman didn’t realize the valuables were gone until the next day.

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It took nine years but a Birmingham, England, couple was finally reunited with their cat Dixie who disappeared in 1999, and then inexplicably returned to their neighborhood last month.

“Dixie’s personality, behavior and little mannerisms have not changed at all,” said owner Gilly Delaney.

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Oh, the irony.

A German animal lover became so upset while driving behind a truck carrying pigs to a slaughterhouse, she lost control of her car and slammed head-on into another truck – carrying pigs to a slaughterhouse.

The woman was not badly hurt. The pigs, on the other hand, did not make it to the abattoir.

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In this case, water buffalo were this woman’s best friend.

Five of the hulking beasts raced to save their owner in China from a bear that attacked her.

The buffalo formed a circle around her and drove the bear away with their horns.

“Without the five of them, I don’t know what would have happened,” Luo Fengju said.