When customs officers at the Sao Paulo, Brazil, airport asked a Portuguese man, “Hey, what’s in the bag?” they got a surprise – about 200 birds. About 65 of the canaries were dead, officers said. The birds were trafficked from Peru.

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On the other side of town, Sao Paulo cops caught up with a guy who had rung up nearly $2 million in traffic fines. Police said the man had been running lights and speeding for seven years, but they never nabbed him because he never registered his 12-year-old ride in his own name. Cops caught the man at the spot where he had registered the most infractions.

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Twin 54-year-old sisters in northern Italy were busted because one did her legal-eagle sibling a favor by taking her place at a court case. Unfortunately for them, the client discovered the sister act – after being sent a bill – and sued both for damages. Real prosecutors charged the sisters with fraud.

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A German thief, plagued by guilt, returned some of the moolah he had stolen – along with an apology note – after a weekend burglary job.

Police in Kamen said a cigarette and alcohol kiosk was relieved of about $6,500, but when workers arrived a few days later they found the note reading, “Sorry, to make up for Saturday night” – plus an envelope containing $560.

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A British couple is seeking payback from the cops – who claimed the lady looked like a man while sticking her with a speeding ticket.

Pauline Synnott, 59, of Kent, who has short hair, was caught in a traffic photo sent to their residence. The letter asked male partner Roy Watkins, who owns the car, if it was he behind the wheel.

“I am fuming and Pauline is very upset,” said Watkins, 59. “I want compensation for the misery and hurt this has caused.”