This hot idea to melt the ice wasn’t so hot.

A New Bedford, Mass., resident used a blowtorch to melt ice on his porch, but accidentally set his wood-frame, multifamily house on fire.

The blaze caused $30,000 worth of damage and left several other residents out in the cold.

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Here’s irony in a nutshell, and an hors d’oeuvre.

Dozens of workers with the Lawrence County health department in Illinois got food poisoning from the buffet at their holiday party.

Forty-two of the 72 attendees were laid out.

“It’s taken the punch out of my whole Christmas,” said department boss Phyllis Wells.

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A hefty gal who used to be a 245-pound male cop before gender-changing surgery raised eyebrows when she won a women’s long-drive golf tournament.

While tourney officials have not objected, some competitors were crying foul instead of fore.

“It’s not an apples-to-apples deal. Men and women are different,” said one duffer.

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A lonely German sought solace – hopefully not that kind – by jumping into the Berlin Zoo enclosure of famed polar bear Knut.

He later said he thought Knut was lonely, too, but fortunately for him, quick-thinking zookeepers lured the animal away with some raw meat.

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Waste not, drive not.

A troubled bag lady wannabe filled her car with so much junk, German police barred her from driving until it passed a tidiness inspection.

Cops in Dusseldorf said there was so much stuff in the vehicle, she was driving erratically with her face pressed up against the windshield.