Dog-gone-it!

A man searching for his missing pooch in Michigan lost his car after parking it on a frozen river and locking himself outside the idling vehicle – which fell into the river after hot exhaust melted the ice beneath it.

Making matters worse, the car wasn’t his. There’s no word on the dog.

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What are the odds?

A lucky Chicago Blackhawk fan walked away with $1 million after right winger Martin Hlavat scored a goal at exactly the 10:00 mark of the second period – which was the exact time needed to win the National Hockey League team’s lottery promotion.

The winner sat in a seat that had been selected during the first period. The fan’s name was not released.

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This is definitely not the sort of emergency anyone had in mind.

A former University of Florida employee ‘fessed up that he hacked into the school’s emergency text-message system and sent out a message reading, “The monkey got out of the cage.”

The school said no other school data seems to have been compromised. No word on what the hell the guy was talking about.

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This guy just made one bad decision after another.

A Phoenix man who was running from cops after a traffic stop hid under a parked truck – which then drove off and ran him over.

Lucky for him, he was not seriously hurt, but he was apparently driving with a suspended license and had warrants for DUI and leaving the scene of an accident.

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Most people would just say, “You can keep it.”

Two Irish villages are fighting over the carcass of a whale that died in the bay they share.

Each village wants to put the whale’s jawbone and ribcage on display as an educational tool and tourist attraction.