A New Jersey man stole newspapers from people’s mailboxes and delivered them to others for years before anyone noticed, police say.

Michael Farrell allegedly collected checks from his “subscribers” each month, stiffing the Express Times of Easton, Pa., out of the cover price.

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There really wasn’t anyone more qualified.

Connecticut police busted a master electrician for allegedly stealing $13,500 in electricity by bypassing the electric company’s meter.

For years, Andrew Natale would reconnect the meter when field workers would come by, but disconnect it when they left, police said.

He was released on $2,000 bail.

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We come here not to praise him, but to flush him.

A Utah hamburger joint held a funeral for a toilet that was destroyed when a customer accidentally dropped his gun as he pulled up his pants and it fired.

“By all accounts, it was a good toilet; reliable and well liked by customers and crew members alike,” said Brad Haley, a restaurant executive.

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Laurel, meet Hardy.

Two handcuffed prisoners in New Zealand were foiled in an escape bid when they ran on opposite sides of a light pole and slammed into each other when the cuffs snapped them back.

“They fell over and were sprayed with pepper spray,” said Sgt. Dave Grieg. “When they met the pole – it was all over, rover.”

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It’s like he saw it coming.

A Utah man who slammed his car into a cinder-block wall and then fled from police couldn’t have had a more appropriate plate: