Things go “bettor” with Coke.

A New Jersey couple wanted nothing to do with the slot machines at their Atlantic City hotel/casino – because they made a mint ripping off its Coke machines, police said.

Video surveillance from the Taj Mahal Casino Resort shows Philip Silvers, 28, and Crystal Studstill, 26, using a master key to swipe $15,000 from 60 vending machines on the hotel’s floors, cops said.

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Want to kick butts? Make it your pet project.

Folks unwilling to quit smoking to improve their own health may consider giving up cigarettes to spare their pets.

Twenty-eight percent of pet owners who smoke said they would try to quit based on knowledge that secondhand smoke could harm their dogs and cats, the researchers write in the journal Tobacco Control.

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Three Washington state women had the solution for their Valentine’s problem – have a love rival deported.

The women, all from Bellingham, grabbed the 28-year-old victim, drove her to the Canadian border and tried to get the border patrol to dump her on the Canadian side, police said.

Problem is, the patrol turned the woman over to regular cops, who don’t ask crime victims whether they are in the country legally. She went free.

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A young man in Warsaw, Poland, tried to turn in his mother for psychological torture – after she told him to clean up his room.

Police said Lukasz Zapalowski, 22, called cops to rat out his mom – who merely had told him to take a bath once a week, clean up his room and help with the rent.

Cops said they may book the slobby slacker for wasting their time.

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Thanks to a computer glitch, drivers in Genderen, Holland found the going rate for self-service gas was a nickel a gallon.

Word spread and cars were lined up for hours until the pumps were corrected.