This is what happens when you try to go boom-boom with a vroom-broom.

Jason Savage, 29, was sentenced to 90 days in jail for performing a sex act with a vacuum at a Saginaw, Mich., car wash.

Appalled witnesses immediately called police.

Savage pleaded no contest to indecent exposure. He’s been ordered to submit to drug testing.

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Must have been one hell of a party.

A Helena, Mont., resident who had spent a perfectly normal, peaceful evening at home woke up the next morning to find a 19-year-old man passed out on his living-room couch in a pool of urine, his pants down around his ankles.

Nathan Ray Jones had stumbled in, blind drunk, from a nearby party, police said.

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A book titled “The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-Milligram Containers of Fromage Frais” has won the annual Diagram Award, given to the tome with the oddest title.

The runner-up was “Baboon Metaphysics,” followed by “Curbside Consultation of the Colon,” and “Strip and Knit With Style.”

The winner is a 188-page study on the global retail market for fresh cheese.

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Beat it, pizza face!

A British housing project has installed pink bulbs in its public lamps in a bid to drive off loitering teens because the light makes acne stand out more.

“We have trouble with underage drinking, drug dealing, anti-social behavior and general intimidation,” said the chairman of the resident’s association.

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A 106-year-old woman in England took a 108-mph drive around a race course to celebrate her upcoming 107th birthday.

Dulcibella King-Hall, who is always ready for her next thrill in life, said simply that the ride “could have been faster.”