This intrepid crime fighter is in the wrong business.

A Chicago police dog named Bear — who’s afraid of thunder — is back home after going AWOL during a storm.

A man spotted Bear wandering around a cemetery and flagged down Officer Ann Jaros. Bear recognized her squad car and was ready to go back on patrol. He “jumped right in,” she said.

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An Ohio man who argued with his grown son over a messy bedroom now admits he might have gone a bit too far when he called 911.

Andrew Mizsak complained that his 28-year-old son — a school-board member in the Cleveland suburb of Bedford — threw a plate of food and made a fist at him when told to clean his room.

The dad declined to press charges, saying he didn’t want to ruin his son’s political career. Might be too late.

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Millions of Americans on Social Security are receiving $250 checks as part of the president’s stimulus plan — including one Maryland woman who’s unlikely to use it to help the economy.

That’s because she died 43 years ago.

Her son, 83-year-old James Hagner, told a Baltimore TV station he’d keep the check as a souvenir.

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A vandal beheaded a statue of President James Garfield that was installed just last week at Hiram College, near Cleveland.

Ohio native Garfield was a student and later headed (no head jokes!) the school.

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Washington firefighters plucked four baby ducks from a storm drain after hearing their mama squawking for her babies.

The rescuers noticed a duck “screaming at a storm drain” in an alley, a fire spokesman said. When they took the cover off the drain, they found four ducklings swimming about six feet down, he said.