The minor-league Myrtle Beach Patriots have acquired a loyal new fan — for a mere $14.99.

Brad Davis of Ohio faithfully rooted for the Pittsburgh Pirates through 17 losing seasons, but finally had enough.

He auctioned off his allegiance on eBay, promising to be a diehard supporter of the highest-bidding team.

The frustrated fan complained, “My daughter Rachel just turned 14 [and] has never witnessed a winning [Pirates] season.”

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If you’re pretending to be a cop, make sure you know the real ones.

Antonio Martinez, driving a car outfitted with flashing lights and speakers, tried to pull over a car driven by a person who looked like an easy mark in Oakland, Calif., apparently to rob him, police said.

But the driver was an undercover officer, who promptly arrested him.

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What do you serve at a retirement party for an Army officer who served for 40 years? C-rations, of course.

Col. Henry Moak joined friends in the Pentagon to eat a military-issue can of pound cake that he acquired in 1973 in Vietnam. He vowed to hang on to it until he retired. He said his snack tasted “good.”

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Think that barking dog across the hall is a nuisance? Folks living next door to a family in Andover, Mass., are complaining about a neighbor with two donkeys.

Owner Leyla Schimmel said they bray only on the rare occasion that her 12-year-old daughter is late with their dinner.

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A Canadian man got some very good news and very bad news.

Barry Shell, of Brampton, Ontario, won a $4.4 million lottery — but was carted off to jail before he could cash the check. He failed to provide acceptable ID, which led to an investigation that showed he was wanted for skipping a court date in 2003.