It’s a crime against humanity to wear nothing but a banana hammock while riding on a banana seat in Florida.

A 55-year-old man known for riding a bike around Tallahassee wearing just a thong, and therefore frequently exposing himself, has been arrested.

Richard Irby is notorious for walking around a trailer park with his genitals hanging from his skivvies.

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A woman in Joliet, Ill., blew up a car and suffered severe burns by checking how much gas she had poured into a can by flicking a cigarette lighter next to it.

In at least one wise move, the woman pushed her car away from the gas pump to avoid blowing up the station.

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He wasn’t sheepish with his money.

A British farmer set a world record by spending $347,000 on a ram to be put to stud.

Jimmy Douglas described the ram, sold in Lanark, Scotland, as having a “great body and strong loin.”

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The hills are alive with the sound of hooligans running for their sanity.

A British community center has driven off a crowd of young toughs who used to hang around by blasting songs from “The Sound of Music.”

“If things get really awkward I understand nursery rhymes will be deployed,” said Highland councilman John Finnie.