Here’s the not-so-secret recipe to getting a beat-down.

A couple furious over slow service at a KFC restaurant in Norwell, Mass., pummeled a man who asked them to stop cursing because there were children around.

Jared Garfagna, 31, and Sara Mohn, 24, allegedly knocked him down and kicked him.

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Worst. Week. Ever.

An 80-year-old Groveport, Ohio, man was shot while taking a self-defense class he’d signed up for days after being beaten and robbed in a home invasion.

The shot from the 9 mm pistol went through Ralph Needs’ hand as the instructor was loading it to show the octogenarian how to use it.

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A registered sex offender in Michigan who was convicted of exposing himself to a 12-year-old girl says he can’t go to jail because he needs to donate a kidney to his dad.

The victim’s family thinks Mark Curcuru is just stalling.

“The children around here are not safe,” the girl’s mother said.

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Most remote villages wish to become modernized — but for one tiny fishing town in arctic Canada, the Dark Ages are just fine, thanks.

Residents in Iqaluit on Baffin Island are fighting the installation of a stoplight because they don’t want to have to deal with traffic jams.

“What used to take two minutes is now taking five-plus,” said one resident.

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Talk about moving the goalposts!

A goalkeeper for a Swedish soccer team has escaped punishment even after being caught on film trying to make his goal smaller before a match.

Kim Christensen had shifted the movable posts a few inches inwards. He was given a yellow card but not tossed out.