This is not the way to be absolved of your sins.

A woman walked into a Pennsylvania church and put a forged $50 check into the collection basket before stealing a wallet.

The bogus check came from a previously stolen checkbook, and the thief, who is still on the loose, used a credit card from the wallet to buy hundreds of dollars of goods.

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They weren’t cheese-eating surrender monkeys this time.

Somali pirates met a dire fate when they fired upon a ship they thought was a commercial vessel but turned out to be a French navy ship. “They understood their mistake too late,” said Rear Adm. Christophe Prazuck.

One ship was sunk and five pirates were tossed into the brig.

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He got five to 10 years for his birthday.

A Taiwanese man went on a robbery spree because he was upset no one had celebrated his 33rd birthday. The man robbed three stores in 23 minutes and was later found drunk and carrying $450 in cash.

He blamed his behavior on the birthday blues.

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They should give Sully a net to take care of this.

A South Korean flight was grounded when a sparrow flew on board.

It took the crew three hours to capture the bird and set it free. The passengers were put on a different flight.

Birds are a growing nuisance for airlines — but more commonly for striking planes in mid-air.