Only a horse’s ass would have voted “neigh.”

Commissioners in Florida’s Brevard County unanimously passed a bill exempting horse owners from a pooper-scooper law.

Horse owner Wanetta Dyer testified, “To stop a 1,000-pound animal, get off, hold it while you try to put the poop in a bag is just not a good idea.”

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Welcome to Burkittsville — and please don’t steal the welcome sign.

The small Maryland community, where “The Blair Witch Project” was filmed, has put up new signs after the old ones mysteriously disappeared.

Mayor Debbie Burgoyne believes they were filched by fans of the 1999 horror movie. She used different colors and lettering for the new ones, hoping they won’t prove as popular.

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“She knows she’s pretty, and when she gets let out, she shows off.”

No, Chris Parry wasn’t talking about the latest Hollywood celebutard.

He’s a spokesman for a farm in Alberta, Canada, and he was describing a cow named Missy, who had just been sold for a cool $1.2 million.

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If a day running around in circles tires you out and you want to hit the hay afterward, this hotel in Nantes, France, may be just for you.

For about $150 a night, guests can choose the Hamster Suite, where they can run in a giant wheel, eat hamster food and sleep in haystacks.

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Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes should have contacted this company.

A London translation firm checks the meaning of baby names in other languages for parents-to-be.

The celebrity couple might have thought twice about naming their daughter Suri had they known it means “pickpocket” in Japanese, “turned sour” in French, and “horse mackerels” in Italian.

Horse mackerel?