The FBI definitely wants this senior citizen to quit his day job and retire, preferably into their custody.

A 70-something San Diego bank robber dubbed the “The Geezer” has stuck up six branches.

He most recently scribbled a demand note and flashed a handgun at a teller at the San Diego National Bank in Point Loma, police said.

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It was a tune-up to the tune of $50,000.

A Naples, Fla., auto mechanic who took a client’s 2008 Porsche for a “diagnostics” test run flipped the car at 164 mph as he took it around a curve.

Kenneth Kasten, 50, walked away without a scratch, the Florida Highway Patrol said. But he was charged with reckless driving and leaving the scene of a crash, and he has to make good on the damages.

Kasten caught one break — he wasn’t charged with theft, since the owner technically gave him the car when she dropped it off for service.

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A fugitive chicken in Glendale, Calif., is drawing a gaggle of human fans since it flew the coop.

The bird was recently spotted playing chicken in busy traffic outside Glendale Community College.

It’s still on the loose and, yes, it did cross the road.

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A truck driver crashed into a house in Lowell, Mass., when he gagged on Wendy’s chili.

Eric Gremm, 59, was hauling lumber on his flatbed when he hit a bump and choked.

Gremm suffered minor injuries, and cops cited him for distracted driving.

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Pray with me — or die!

The son of an Alcoa, Tenn., pastor claims his father threatened him with a gun over the offspring’s poor church attendance.

Michael Louis Colquitt, 32, took out an order of protection against his dad, Joe Colquitt, 60, pastor of St. John Missionary Baptist Church.