Take two of these and call your lawyer in the morning.

A San Francisco man took a double dose of his medical marijuana cookies and freaked out aboard a US Airways jet en route from Philly to LA, screaming, dropping his pants and fighting with the crew, and forcing the pilot to make an emergency landing in Pittsburgh.

Kinman Chan, 30, was taken into FBI custody, which definitely harshed his mellow.

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German cops chasing a scared dog that had gotten loose on the autobahn ended their pursuit by running the poor pooch over rather than shutting down the highway.

They then sent the dog’s owner a bill for $4,000 to pay for damages to the police car.

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On the other hand . . .

A Slovenian doctor who saved three dogs from being put to sleep for attacking humans was killed when the dogs mauled him.

The bull mastiffs had been ordered put down after attacking several people. After their owner died, the doctor had intervened to keep them alive, and they attacked him in his garden.

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He didn’t break the law, he smashed it.

A South African minibus driver was arrested for being five times over the legal drinking limit while carrying 49 kids to school crammed aboard a bus designed for only 16 people.

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This snake wouldn’t even be able to get on the plane.

No-smoking flights would make it impossible for a chain-smoking puff adder to fly after its owner got it hooked on smokes.

“One day when I threw a cigarette butt away, he went for it and seemed to enjoy having it in his mouth,” said owner Sho Lau, of Taiwan. “One thing led to another, and before long, he was having one cigarette in the morning and another at night.” ,