This thief is messing with the wrong guy.

An Ohio sheriff is offering a $1,000 reward from his own pocket for info leading to the arrest of whoever burglarized his house.

Sheriff Dave Phalen says the break-in proves crime knows no boundaries.

***

You booze, you lose — in this case, hopefully custody of an endangered boy.

A West Virginia father was busted for drunkenly pushing his 4-year-old son in a stroller alongside a busy highway.

Richard Lee Craddock had a 12-pack of beer under his arm and was weaving perilously close to speeding traffic.

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Carrie Prejean’s days as the most incendiary beauty queen are over.

A Miss California hopeful outdid the anti-gay marriage crusader by saying God wants gays dead, and she quoted Bible passages like a tent-revival preacher.

“If He says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that’s a pretty stern warning,” Lauren Ashley told Fox News.

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Someone clearly never taught this Spanish parliament member the virtues of leading by example.

Deputy Nacho Uriarte, who heads the parliament’s road-safety commission, was arrested for drunken driving after crashing his car.

Unlike some wayward American politicians (hello, Gov. Sanford!), Uriarte had the decency to quit immediately.

***

And you thought your job was rough.

An Indonesian park ranger narrowly escaped a savage death when his colleagues pulled him from the jaws of a Komodo dragon that had chomped down on his foot.

It took a mob of club-wielding co-workers to boot the beast that’s the world’s largest lizard.